Domestic Violence in India Part 3
Rani had the misfortune to marry Mukesh, who turned out to be an alcoholic. He has beaten her many times, going so far as to slash her arm deeply with a blade. She was the sole earner in the family and in order to escape the misery of living with her husband, she demanded a divorce.
Her mother in-law, incensed at Rani’s decision, kept threatening physical harm and Rani, under great stress, attempted suicide by gulping massive amounts of sleeping pills. She was found, taken to a hospital, where her life was saved. This incident was registered as a criminal case and she was asked not to give any testimony against her mother in-law. She agreed and decided to leave the past behind and live with her husband and her in-laws peacefully. Of course, this rarely works out and this was no exception.
Rani and Mukesh tried having another child unsuccessfully. Rani became the victim of constant sarcasm and verbal abuse. He insisted that she have tests to see if she was still fertile—they had two children previously – but all the results were normal. With great prodding, Mukesh agreed to be tested and he indeed suffered from a very low sperm count. After finding out, Mukesh got more aggressive and began battering Rani daily. He completely denied his infertility problem and dared Rani to prove her fertility by marrying someone else and get pregnant. Helpless, she again attempted suicide but was fortunately saved one more time at the hospital.
Afterwards, she approached the Mahila Panayat ( womens support group) and she was advised to get a divorce and get financial support for her two children, a process which she has started. She is also taking a course become a beautician. She is still tormented by her past experiences.
For eleven years, Ugati has been physically abused by her husband. He is a butcher and if Ugati happens to visit him at his shop, he greets her by a beating and even attempted to choke her to death.
Ugati then decided to leave her husband for a year with both their daughters and move into her parents home, hopefully teaching her husband a lesson. After returning home, he became even more aggressive and “ he beat me naked so I could not escape”. Her husband even spit into her food and cut her hand with a blade.
During her visit to the women’s support group ( Mahila Panchayat), she felt that her life “ was ruined. I feel pain all over my body’”. She said that she firmly wants a divorce and have her husband pay for the expenses of her children. Fortunately, she has a supportive mother.
Ugati’s mother is very concerned about the welfare of her daughter.
Ugati and her mother
During the course of her marriage there has been not even a single day that her husband has not physically assaulted her.
When Vandana married at age 26 she imagined a life full of love and happiness but it was not to be; the brutality of her husband her in-laws hit her very hard. Since the very first day of her marriage, her husband doubted her loyalty and treated her cruelly. He claimed that the marriage was arranged by his aunt, who despised him.
To add further abuse, her mother in-law referred to her as a retard, claimed she was lazy even though she did all the household chores and even deprived Vandana of basic necessities like food and clothing. Combined with the daily doses of emotional and verbal abuse, her mental state deteriorated badly. Living with overwhelming amount of stress and depression, she had fantasies of trying to reconcile with her husband but the women’s support group encouraged her to proceed with a divorce.